Here- Midway REAL LATE

3 hours of reading journal entries aloud from college to Kim Kim makes my life happier. 

You should feel honored that I'm sharing this one and my craziness for the world because it's hilarious involving my favorites Kim Kim and Spence.

SO background. Spence and I had been hanging out for a few weeks a lot. I had been texting him while I was at the Jazz game and he hadn't text me back (rude, I know...drama me) and he had said we would hang out, so this is my crazy girl mind running. And it's unedited and EMBARRASSING

"I was waiting for him to ask me what I was doing though. He wasn t asking me to hang out! So I went home, kinda bummed and beside myself. All my constant butterflies were going away. How was it possible for me to get so upset over that? I baked cookies because it relieves stress but that didn t really work. I went for a walk. It sounds so lame but I was in such a bad mood over it. Then I wondered and asked why do I care so much? Is this something more than just a crush? Does he like me as much as I like him? I hope so. I started writing in my journal and then Kimi came in. After two minutes she knew something was wrong with me and came over and asked; we had this conversation:

ME: Yeah, just tired. Promise. And I'm bummed I didn t get to hang out with spence. 

Her: Why not?

Me: I don t know he didn't invite me to. Even though after the football game he said to call him after the jazz game and I text him and we were texting but I could just tell that he didn't really...wasn't into it? Basically don't think he at all likes me as much as I like him. So now all the good butterflies in my stomach turned to sadness and I already cooked, and walked to get rid of that, but it's not completely working yet. I just wished I could have spent some time with him. And I think that there's no hope. When we were sitting at the table last night he said that all the boys were going to salt lake tonight and only him and murder were staying. So then at the football game he said to call him after and basically I thought tonight would be a me and him night... guess not. I just wish I knew what he was doing

        How was your night?

Her: Well it went well and im just trying not to be myself because im so so so so good at that!!!!  But we kinda cuddled and        maybe he even held my hand but I didn t get excited at all and I was bummed that I didn't, I suck at life.

Me: Wow

        Explain much much more please

        Where, when, huh

Her: We went back to their apartment and watched ladder 49 and the other boys went to play football we were just sitting on the couch and then he said we should move to the love sac and so then it was like just laying next each other but he was kinda laying on top of me and then he just went for my hand at the very end under the blanket when his roommates were there but I didn t get excited and I wish I was 1000000000 times more into it then I am I suck and im just me.

Me: So do you like him at all

        Was the night fun and were you happy and stuff

Her: Kinda it was fun but I feel like he is just a good friend almost like I just don't know and I didn't want to tell you at all but      of course it s the first thing I do me too

Me: Don t worry,liking (loving) someone is completely over rated. Man I like him

Me: Sdlfkasdklfsdfkljsldkfsalkdfjsldkfjas;lkdfj

Spence what are you doing why aren't you asking me to hang out? Please tell me you're at home watching sports center and you are going to go to bed. Please. I just want to know. Please tell me you love me. Please tell me you want to be with me. UGHHHHHH

We're crazy! It was a funny conversation. Then I just said I wanted to know if he was home or not or if he was out with someone! I just wanted to know. We put inconspicuous clothes on and packed up some cookies and went on a mission. We snuck around Liberty Square. Kimi peaked in his window and didn't see anything. It was all too hilarious with everyone passing us by and such. Then, when I was reading her all my old text messages from him, I accidentally resent one to him! Then he said,  "what ya doin?" 

 THE MISSION WORKED!"

You'd think I was 5 years old with this. I wasn't this was 2007. Legit and crazy. And Kimi and I laughed our faces off reading it because we are still just as ridiculous and make no sense when we talk. That conversation is actually how we talk to each other. Oh man. I'm glad my voodoo tricks work when I spy with Kim because then we spent the night cuddling and watching Lost (Our life story) just took a little work :) Hope you enjoyed!

Love and Miss ya Speene.